What's In Your Trolley?

Grabbing my Tesco trolley the other day, I happened upon a discarded till receipt the previous shopper had left behind. Picking it up, I popped it in my pocket; not because of an absence of bins, there were plenty of those, but because I'm nosy and wanted to read it over a cup of tea. I know, it's a bit sad, but you'd be surprised what you can learn from a shopping list. And yes, I know, wanting to learn anything at all about a total stranger is even sadder! But don't forget, I am nosy! Think of it as people watching from the comfort of my armchair.

So, back home, I unpack my shopping, pop the kettle on, slice the cake and settle down to inspect the shopping habits of my anonymous shopper.

Top of the list we have peach slices... oh wait a minute, they appear again a bit further down! Obviously likes fruit, particularly the kind that comes in tins!

When I was a child my nan used to serve tinned peaches with sterilised cream... also from a tin. The cream was thick, tasted of metal and separated slightly when dolloped on top of the syrupy juices. In the centre of the table sat a plate of bread and butter for dipping. Sounds disgusting, and it was!

But back to my shopper... there's more fruit with mandarins, plums, grapes and gooseberries. So I figure my anonymous shopper's preference for soft fruit indicates a problem biting into firm flesh... clearly not a vampire then! My suspicions are further aroused a little way down the list with the word Fixodent! Aha, thought so!

So, why do I think my shopper is female... well she likes baking; Stork margarine, bramley apples, treacle... unless the treacle is to keep her regular, hence the moist toilet tissues and quilted toilet tissues.

Moving on...

My shopper clearly likes to eat a well balanced diet; museli for breakfast with extra hazelnuts sprinkled on top... got to keep those bowels regular! Crumbed ham salad for lunch with baby plum tomatoes, little gem lettuce, radishes, red pepper and salad onions. Hold on a bit... red peppers! That's a bit exotic isn't it!! Afternoon tea... or rather percolated coffee...with a mince pie and dinner of Branston beans on toast (white sliced bread) or maybe broad beans, frozen peas and something from the freezer?

The trolley had been left next to the disabled parking bays, so I reckon she's got walking difficulties, probably on account of her arthritis. She really should lay off the acidic mandarins, they won't do her any good at all... neither will all that coffee (double purchase)... plays havoc with the rheumatism!

Age wise, I reckon she's in her mid 70's, possibly single, comfortably off, but makes her pension go further by doing most of her own baking, and cooking everything from scratch. Bet she drives a little Noddy Micra!

I would have loved to have found something a bit racy on her list, like an Italian ready meal, or a Vindaloo... that'd make her go faster than the treacle! Maybe a steamy paperback or CD of rock anthems. She could have made it a bit harder for me... I almost feel cheated!

So, what does your shopping trolley say about you? I daren't list mine. I'm having a comfort eating week, so lots of naughtiness; cake, choc and wine... with a bit of food chucked in for balance.

When I grow old I'm going to leave someone a really racy till receipt in my trolley! :D